I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
