she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
