Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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