people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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