Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
