..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
