By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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