Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
