im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
