you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
