there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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