So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
