I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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