Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
