We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
