This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i think i just naturally attract stoners
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
