The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
