DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
