He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
