yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
