when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
