When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
