he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize