i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
