Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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