He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
