Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
