The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
