they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
