I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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