she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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