capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
