How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
