I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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