Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize