New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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