eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
