well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Randomize
