i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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