So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
