Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
