dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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