The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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