Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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