I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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