he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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