i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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