I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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