Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
