dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
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