Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
