Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
