operation harelip BJ is a go
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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