dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
