my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
