if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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