she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
