wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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