And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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