i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
