she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize