Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
