She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
