nut hugger
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
