I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
