Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
