the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So vagazzling was a success
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