Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
