this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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