we have officially lost it.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
