I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
