i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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