nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
